• 1 1/3 cup of Spanish rice pilaf, cooked in stock

• A lot of garlic, diced (more than you think you need)

• 1 yellow onion, diced

• 1 red bell pepper, diced

• 1 large carrot, diced

• A little olive oil

• 1 small can of peas (or a medium can of peas and carrots and skip the fresh carrot)

• 3/4 lb of Mexican chorizo (Surprise, I’m a rebel)

• 1 15oz can of fire roasted diced tomatoes

• 1 15 oz can of tomato sauce

• 1/2 lb of raw shrimp, p&d

• 10-12 littleneck clams

• A heaping handful of roughly chopped parsley and cilantro

• BlackOps (IYKYK… If you don’t know, use paprika, chipotle pepper powder, and salt, to taste)

• Black pepper (to taste)

• Crushed red pepper (to taste) Finishing salt (Maldon, or whatever you got… Trader Joe’s sea salt is also perfectly adequate in a pinch ha!)

1. Cook the rice in stock (I like doing this in my Instant Pot).

2. Take the clams out of the refrigerator.

3. While the rice cooks, chop the garlic, onion, bell pepper, carrots and herbs.

4. Sauté the vegetables in a two-glug dollop of olive oil until fragrant/a little bit softened (onions should be shiny).

5. Add chorizo (removed from casing) and continue to mix up the stuff in the pan.

6. Add peas and stir a little more.

7. At this point, I like to add some spices and dried herbs, but that’s just me. You can do you! We’re all about freedom here.

8. Dump the rice in the pan and mix everything up.

9. Add both cans of tomatoes. Things should be getting pretty full in the pan by now. Don’t worry. That’s what you want!

   PRO TIP: Add the tomato sauce second. If things are getting too crazy full, ease off the tomato sauce so it doesn’t bubble over a ton.

10. Arrange the shrimp and clams to the top of the pan in whatever design floats your boat.

11. Turn the heat to medium-high and put the lid on the pan.

12. NOW WAIT. Go read something for 10-15 minutes while the shrimpies turn pink and the clams open up.

13. SERIOUSLY, DON’T LIFT UP THE LID!

    You can check it after 10 minutes, and, if the clams are all open, congratulations, you won the shellfish lottery.

14. WAITING IS WORTH IT.

15. Ok… NOW you can lift up the lid. Poke at any unopened clams. Discard the ones that refuse to open up.

16. Turn off the heat and sprinkle a LITTLE TOO MUCH of your rough-chopped herbs (dramatically) over your masterpiece.

17. Now add crushed red pepper flakes to taste and hit it with some Maldon or other finishing salt.

18. Serve in the pan you cooked it in. Then, soak that bad boy overnight with soap and water because those tomatoes are gonna CLING LIKE A MOTHER. THE END

Do I need a paella pan?

No, you can use a saucier or braiser. It's all the same, dudes.